The Year Without a Santa Claus (2006): Running commentary

So, NBC has remade the old animated Christmas special, The Year Without a Santa Claus, into a 2-hour live-action movie. Not sure this is a good idea, given that it was among the worst of the old Christmas specials. If you see that show again as an adult, you realize that the only good things about it were the Heat Miser and Snow Miser songs; the rest is crap. Rudolph and other Christmas specials still hold up much better than this one. So why remake this? And how are they gonna stretch an hourlong show into 2 hours?

So here goes my running commentary about the remake. Admittedly, I'm going in with a very skeptical attitude. On to the show:

8:04 pm: Oh boy. It's set in 2006. Santa's operation is all modern, high-tech, and commercialized. Looks like we're in for sledgehammer message movie about how much better the simpler, pre-video game world was. I can see the theme now, we've lost the true meaning of Christmas amid the modern commercialization of the holiday. Well, duh. Anyone not aware of that already? And look, already there's a cameo with one of those Queer Eye guys.

8:05 pm: Look, how clever. They worked in a brief clip of the original animated show.

8:09 pm: Pierced Goth leather chick elf? Sheesh.

8:15 pm: Dr. Laura has a cameo?!? Does she even still have a TV show, as they're claiming here?

8:21 pm: Chris Kattan's obnoxious and cliched PR/marketing-minded elf (Sparky) is proving, well, obnoxious.

8:25 pm: Well, at least they've kept the original Heat Miser and Snow Miser songs. Harvey Fierstein is Heat Miser; kinda hard to listen to his gravely voice sing. And he did Fiddler on the Roof on Broadway? Michael McKean as the Cold Miser has a better singing voice, at least. Also, in a nod to diversity, one of the two elves from the animated series is now black (Eddie Griffin). The other is played by the brother on My Name Is Earl.

8:28 pm: The Heat Miser's babes aren't bad. The bikini tops are a little surprising given that, I assume, this is aimed at a family audience. But I'm not complaining.

8:35 pm: Of course, when it comes to street clothes, Eddie Griffin's elf has to wear his baseball cap backwards and sport a stylish track suit, while the white elf dresses like a clueless white guy.

8:43 pm: They've referenced South Park. "Look how hip with the culture we filmmakers are!"

8:45 pm: Okay, so the Greek goddess Artemis is disguised as an overweight lesbian gym coach!?

8:48 pm: The amount of time between commercial breaks is plummeting.

8:52 pm: Both elves are playing Dance Dance Revolution in an arcade. At least they're not saying the white elf can't dance; both seem perfectly capable.

8:54 pm: Referencing Dr. Laura again?!

8:55 pm: Lots of bare midriffs among the Snow and Heat Misers' babes. Navels galore. Nice!

8:57 pm: Carol Kane as Mother Nature. Seems to work. They're even referencing the old commercials where it wasn't nice to lie to Mother Nature.

9:01 pm: Nice jiggly cheerleader Heat Miser babes.

9:12 pm: They just got Vixen out from animal control. Have to say, that sequence was actually okay. I'm not feeling so cynical about this remake anymore.

9:25 pm: I just realized, in the original show, Mrs. Claus is the one who went to South Town to look for the wayward elves. Yet here, Santa himself has gone after them. I guess they figured John Goodman (Santa) was the bigger star, and not Delta Burke (Mrs. Claus). No pun intended.

9:30 pm: This show is working a lot better now that they're focusing on the story and no longer trying to prove their hipness with modern pop culture references. And Chris Kattan's character hasn't shown up in a long time, another plus.

9:36 pm: Huh, I think the communication screen the Miser brothers are using looks the same as in the original animated show.

9:37 pm: Oh great, back to Chris Kattan's soulless capitalistic corporate takeover subplot.

9:41 pm: "Sparky was my slave name! I'm Extreme Santa now!" Yes, those were Chris Kattan's lines.

9:42 pm: Geez, again with Dr. Laura?? If they used Dr. Phil, that would still be annoying, but at least it'd be more relevant!

9:50 pm: Uh oh, I think someone's about to learn a lesson...

9:51 pm: ...and the lesson, unsurprisingly, is commercial development, bad; appreciate what you have, good. Didn't Charlie Brown already teach us something similar 40 years ago?

9:58 pm: Looks like someone used the Paint Daub filter in Photoshop to do the The End shot (as well as the opening credits).

Well, that ended better than it started. A little cheesy, but that's to be expected in a show like this. The cheese factor could have been far worse, so that was a relief. The whole modern corporation angle felt forced and cliched, though, like Sparky's attempt to remake Santa as a thin Tony Hawkesque figure. They were smart to limit the musical numbers to the classic Miser songs only. And yet the Miser scenes were a little flat, though the babes were a nice addition (and, I must add, not at all flat).

In conclusion, I think this broadcast proved two things:

1) Don't try to shoehorn in a bunch of pop culture references to help fill out your running time.

2) I need a date.

The Office (3rd season, NBC, Thursdays)

Also reviewed by: Babs

Yes, I've reviewed NBC's The Office before. Back on the old Forum, I think. But it's a new season, so ... new review!

Last season, especially in the episodes leading to the season finale, was brilliant. The show really hit its stride. The actors, the characters' interplay, the situations and dialogue all gelled. Even tiny plot lines resonated. And all the characters grew a little more three-dimensional. And then, of course, the season ended with the revelation of the Jim's long-simmering feelings for Pam. That season was a keeper.

Problem is, where do you go from there? Before the season premiere, I was concerned about the future of the show. Have they pushed the unrequited love story out into the open too quickly? Would this result in the downfall of the show, the way Dave and Maddie hooking up lead to Moonlighting's slow and painful death? How can they top last season? And then on top of that, the show won the Emmy for best comedy. Talk about pressure...

Finally, the season premiere came. And, surprise surprise, I was disappointed. We learned Pam's engagement was off, but that Jim had already transferred to another office. Not a terribly surprising plot development (though too reminiscient of the aforementioned Moonlighting direction). And right away, you could tell that the show was just a little off. Without the subconscious flirting between Pam and Jim, the spark just wasn't there. And we don't just lose the Pam and Jim interaction, we lose the constant battling between Jim and Dwight. Cutting the legs out from beneath both of those relationships for too long won't be a good thing.

Also, Michael Scott, Steve Carell's character, had been slowly growing more sympathetic last season, even if he could still be a clueless asshole. Yet in the season premiere, he seemed to be slipping back into being annoying only. Even his banter with Dwight wasn't hitting the mark. And because the show now has to switch between "the" office and the office that Jim transferred to, the flow gets interrupted more often. Seemed to be too jarring of a transition.

The second episode was better, and since then, I think the show has started to find its footing again. In the past couple of episodes, I've had more of the side-splitting laughs that I could always count on last season. I've gotten used to the show being set in two offices now, so that's no longer taking me out of the storyline. With Pam and Jim still separated (unless they moved Jim back this week; I haven't watched the episode yet), the show is still missing a little spark, though. Still, the laughter has returned, and I'm hopeful that the writers and producers are leading the show in the right direction.

long overdue

Now that I have TV and the internets back in working order after my move to Seattle, I'm ready to dive back into pop culture trivia. Although being unemployed is never as much fun in the summer (when all you have is daytime TV and reruns to keep you busy), I'm surviving. Here is a quick rundown of the latest cultural offerings to which I've exposed my atrophying (sp?) brain cells.

Project Runway Season 3: Thank God for ProjRun. There is nothing new on TV and I would die without at least a little decent reality TV. The best? One good designer has been kicked off for cheating. He was an ass though so no tears here. The bad? The most recent challenges have been lame lame lame. I don't want to see fashion designers make dresses out of plastic cups and baling wire. Derelicte anyone?

The Devil Wears Prada: I liked this movie more than I thought I would. I really liked the book. I knew that it was brain candy though so I was curious to see how they could give the story some depth. Meryl Streep is perfect as that horrible awful boss with no conscience. Ann Hathaway wasn't half bad either.

PotC: DMC: This was silly. Very very silly. Will I see the third one? Yes. Will I wait in line ahead of time for tickets? Of course not. As Dipu said in his review, it helps to watch the first movie before going into the second one. Since I hadn't seen the first one since it came out three years ago, I was a little lost. Plus, I really didn't care that much about the characters...or the plot... or the neverending sword fights.

For next week: I plan to see Little Miss Sunshine. This looks good and it has Steve Carell and Greg Kinnear. I'm already in love.

30 Days--Thought Provoking TV ****

It's me again. That strange girl who doesn't live in Austin who reviews movies way after they've come out and hops on to hit shows a season after everyone else does? Well, I have a new one. And, in case anyone has been locked inside a bunker for the past year and missed the first season, I thought I'd give it a little review.

I didn't think anything could knock me off my What Not to Wear fetish. But, my word...something has. I really love Morgan Spurlock's 30 Days on FX. Yes, I know. Everyone on the planet watched last season and knows about this show. But, like I said, this is for the bunker folks and maybe a few cosmonauts who haven't BEEN on the planet this year. M'kay?

The concept duplicates that of his amazing documentary into the fast food industry, Super Size Me, which lead to McDonald's eliminating super-size from their menu. And, bunkerettes? If you haven't seen that one and you want a heads up, let me just say this: never (and I do mean never) eat a Chicken McNugget again. Trust me.

30 Days is much like other reality shows that have come before it, such as ABC's Wife Swap, in that it puts people from opposing sides or classes in someone else's shoes. But, in this case, the person must totally leave their life and wear those shoes for 30 days. The first two episodes of the season have featured a Border Patrol enthusiast who goes to live in East L.A. with a family of illegal Mexican immigrants, and an outsourced and out-of-work U.S. programmer who goes to India to see just who is taking away his job.

The show is eye-opening, educational, and damn interesting. Spurlock pops in with his funny commentary at the beginning and end to wrap it all up. It's well worth setting the DVR to check it out. And, if you catch some reruns, last season's episode that featured Spurlock and his wife living on minimum wage was really fascinating as well.

So, if you've only recently come aground and are living among us again, give it a look-see! You just might learn a few things!

The Britney Interview

Today, I watched the Dateline interview with Britney. I thought it would be cheap entertainment because it's ALWAYS fun to laugh at celebrities. Instead, I just felt bad for her, like really REALLY bad for her. She looks like crap. When asked a simple and direct question, she responded with a cliché such as "that's america!" or "love conquers all." Does she really believe that? When asked if she and Kevin are happy, she replied "Oh yes. We're very happy right now." Ummm..that's not very convincing. It also looked like she was telling herself that everything was alright instead of firmly stating it to the interviewer.

I don't feel sorry for the invasion of privacy that she's suffered. She's a celebrity. There are lots of other celebrities who manage to stay away from the cameras and also avoid looking like asses 90% of the time. I guess she's just talented. The whole interview was pathetic. Not once did I laugh. I just cringed. Oh, and someone needs to tell her to quit smacking her gum. She says that she doesn't care what anyone thinks, but if that's true then why did she feel compelled to give an interview and tell her side of the story? I know, these questions are pointless. It's just....sad.

Elizabeth I (HBO)

Yawn.

This is a beautifully shot miniseries that HBO has put together, don't get me wrong. But it's just soooo sloooow. Even for a period piece. About all this motivated me to do is look up how historically accurate the plot is. I just never got into the plot or characters. Other than feeling a little sorry for Elizabeth after her failed attempt to arrange a marriage with a French prince. With Helen Mirren and Jeremy Irons in the cast, I expected quality. And like I said, it's well assembled technically. It's just boring.

At first I was gonna invite people over to watch it because hey, it's an HBO film, and they always do great stuff. I've enjoyed their previous productions such as Warm Springs (about FDR's attempted rehabilitation from polio) and Oscar-nominated Maria Full of Grace. But I'm glad I decided to check it out myself first. I'd hate to have bored others for nearly 4 hours.

Make more babies!

I saw a clip of this on The Colbert Report. It's from Fox News' John Gibson.

So, question: Is this thinly veiled racism? (Okay, not-so-thinly ... or veiled). Because when he says, "We need more babies," I don't think the "we" includes full-blooded Americans like me...

Stephen Colbert roasts the US press, Bush

Well, you can't say Stephen Colbert doesn't have king-size balls. Check out the speech he gave at the White House press correspondents dinner.

http://movies.crooksandliars.com/WH-Dinner-Colber.mov

Here's an article with more info:

http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/news/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=1002425363

Prison Break (Fox, Mondays)

I've been watching Prison Break since it debuted last fall. It's not bad, actually. Entertaining enough. Though lately it's been suffering from a problem that I imagine 24 also has; to stretch the storyline out to a full season, they have so many wrong turns and dead-ends and red herrings that it can become frustrating. Both the plot and the escape plan have become horribly convoluted. The high-reaching global conspiracy that set the events in motion is getting harder to swallow. And you have to accept the premise that the mastermind of the escape was able to plan everything in as much detail as he has, and then find so many alternatives when the original plan is ruined. And yet, I'm still enjoying the show despite my complaints. And one recent flashback episode showing all of the main players' lives before being sent to/working in the prison was actually a nice touch. However, it's probably far too late for anyone to get in on this season if you haven't been watching already. Still, while it's not must-see TV, if you're home and need a distraction, it's decent, ahem, escapist fare.

You've heard of Global Warming, what about Global Dimming?

Great Nova show on climate and how were are lucky to be dying before the poop hits the fan.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/sun/resources.html

Turns out the particulate pollution we've been cranking out with the CO2 has been keeping the greenhouse effect in check. Particle pollution reduces the amount of sunlight hitting the earth and has a cooling effect. Without it, we'd be much hotter. Program surmises we have about 10 years to reduce both pollutions before we reach the point of no return and Earth turns into a living hell. Fun TV.

Little People, Big World

Some people say the TLC network is only for women, but the show Little People, Big World is totally worth checking out. On the surface, it sounds kinda exploitative because it's a reality show about a family of little people. What's fascinating is that although the parents are little, they have a set of twin boys where one's average size and one's a little person. They also have another daughter and son, both of average height. Plus, both sets of grandparents are average height.

Anyway, the family lives on a farm in Oregon... and the show just basically follows their lives. It's interesting to see all the "little" things that they have to deal with, which you and I don't think twice about. Like, the mom has to use stools in the kitchen to reach anything... the sink, the stove, etc... so they're about to remodel the kitchen to be more their height. However, when the dad goes to get the plans approved by the city, he gets told that city code won't let him do certain things... like he can't lower the handrails on the stairs, because it'd be unsafe for the average-height people that come over. The codes are written for average-height people, and the little people get screwed... even in their own house!

This show really helps you see day-to-day life in a new light. Like I never thought about how hard it would be to go grocery-store shopping as a little person. Or dating. The average-height 15-year-old twin has a girlfriend... while the little-person twin probably won't date anyone at his school. Instead, his dad takes him to little people conventions to meet other little people.

The point is: Check out this show one day. Each episode is only 30 minutes. And you might get a different outlook on life. I give it a BIG thumbs up.

The Office on NBC, ****

Have you been watching The Office on NBC? OMG. I can't believe how good it's turned out to be... It's so much more than an American copycat of the BBC original. Even the show's website has some great deleted scenes and special videos. In fact, everytime I've wanted to post a review, I've gotten distracted by exploring their website (nerd alert!)

Anyway, here are just a few of the highlights that make the show incredible:

• The unique format makes for great character development. Since the show is like a mock documentary of life in The Office, the characters speak directly into the camera at different points. And even better, they will react for the camera.
• One-liners come from out of nowhere. The Diversity Training episode had some real classics ("I don't believe in white collar vs blue collar... I'm collar-blind") and I've heard the White Elephant Exchange was awesome
• The ridiculousness of Michael (Steve Carrell) & Dwight plays off very nicely against Kevin's unrequited love for Pam

Subtle joke on House, M.D.

House is a great show. And last week's episode had a nice inside joke. At one point, there's a quick shot of Dr. House's TiVo list of recorded programs. The point of it was to show that he watches a lot of New Yankee Workshop episodes. But they kept that shot of his TV screen up just long enough for you to read some of the other programs on his list. I noticed one was Blackadder. I laughed my ass off.

Why? Blackadder in an old Rowan Atkinson BBC show that, in its later seasons, co-starred Dr. House himself, Hugh Laurie.